Small talk is often a source of anxiety when getting a massage. Beforehand, many folks worry their therapist will talk too much during the session, and then they enjoy their massage less when that turns out to be exactly the case.
This is part of what I say to a new client immediately before we start our first session, after we’ve discussed everything else, including feedback on my pressure and technique:
“…as far as conversation goes beyond that, I’ll follow your lead: Feel free to chat as much as you like, or feel free to be as quiet as you like, meditate, go to your ‘happy place’, etc.”
Most clients have a momentary flash of panic in their eyes when I say “feel free to to chat as much as you like…”, which turns into a smile when I finished “…be as quiet as you like…”, which is most people’s preference. But to the few who are more relaxed when making small talk, I like to leave that option open.
So if you’re seeing a new therapist who isn’t me, how do you approach the situation when you really don’t want to make small talk during the session? Most intake forms have an extra ‘comment’ section asking if there’s anything else your therapist should know. You might write there, “I’d prefer little to no small talk during my massage. Thanks for understanding.” (As opposed to the blunt-sounding “no talking” directive I occasionally saw written on intake forms when I worked at a spa.) Or you may mention it directly to your therapist during your in-person intake. A good therapist will be more than understanding and respect your wishes.